of Standards

April 10, 2016

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If you were to stop reading here…I wouldn’t blame you. In fact, I’d suggest it.
Because what follows will be nothing short of a hate filled rant.

Lying might be forgiven were it a gut reaction, a defence mechanism in hopes of staving off an onslaught of accusation and criticism but that one usually regrets having done so.
We all have, God knows.

Deceit, on the other hand, is by design. Premeditated to fool or misguide it’s intended target.
For that, there should be no forgiveness. It should be ranked among the many notorious mortal sins that invite eternal damnation.
Advertisers and marketers would surely be at the head of that illustrious gang, bound for the fiery pits of hell. And good fucking riddance.

I was not forged in the Golden Era, when small businesses ruled the roost, but I’ve heard stories.
I’ve heard tell, of a time, long ago, in a land far away, where shop keepers cared about the satisfaction of their clientele. That they banked on it. That the wares they peddled were backed by their own good name and reputation.
A land where the Maytag Repairman really was bored shitless.Maytag-repairman1

No, I was forged in a much more cynical time. Where chain stores had long since replaced the local grocers and “fresh” is nothing more than a means to grab the always fleeting attention of a passerby and millions are spent on studies of just where “fresh” should be placed, what font, and how bold.
Today, “fresh” is encrypted to mean “sucker”.

I’m not a total moron, I know that there have always been charlatans. Selling everything from snake oil to religion. But I don’t think it was the standard. I don’t think it was just understood to be the way of conducting business.


I’ve been staring at the blinking cursor now for at least twenty minutes, unsure in which direction to go here.

One direction would have me detail my own excruciating experience at the hands of a lying, sack of shit, retailer today…or bemoan how surprised I was to learn that even the company I contract for, employs the very tactics I condemn here.

“Oh no!, that’s horrible! I’m terribly sorry for your trouble and let me put you on hold while I investigate”
“Why no, we are not aware of the problem, this is the first we’ve heard of it and thank you for bringing it to our attention!”

Sadly, whoever that person is that just fed you that line of total horseshit, is likely very nice, maybe even Canadian. Probably very upstanding. A Good parent. Church going and long time Rotary Club member. They could be very active in their children schools or even revered PTA presidents. They attend charity drives, watch dog rescue videos on Facebook and cry.
They are the best of neighbours, always there to lend you a hand or watch out when you’re away…but let me tell you, without blinking, I would nail them to a fucking cross or light the faggot that melts the fat from their bones, watching contentedly as they scream in agony from the stake, for the frustration and grief they caused me today.
I kid you not.

Are they to blame? Maybe not.
Maybe the advertiser, marketer, or customer service person simply accepts the direction insisted on by their employers and believes that were they to balk at it, question it, “but..we DO know about the issue, there was that service bulletin that came out a fe…oh… Yes sir, I understand”, that they would be replaced.
Or, perhaps they just assume the rest of us know it’s total horseshit and will adjust accordingly.
More likely, I’m afraid, is that they think us simpletons, too stupid or lazy ourselves to question or doubt.

Even worse, much worse, is that they don’t think at all.

For that, they are to blame.
And must burn for it.



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